The Death of Common Sense
Obituary for Mr. Common Sense
Author Unkown
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend,
Common Sense, who has been with us for years. No one
Knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were
Long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be rememembered
as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to
come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life
isn’t always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies
(adults, not children, are in charge).
His health declined when he became infected with the “I’m not responsible
for my own actions” and “It’s alright if it feels good viruses”. He watched in
pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers. His health rapidly
deteriorated when well intentioned, but overbearing, regulations were set in place.
Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for
kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using
mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers
for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in
disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further
when schools were required to get parental consent to
administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student.
Common Sense lost his will to live when criminals received better treatment
than their victims, churches became businesses, and priests
molested young boys.
He finally gave up the will to live after a
woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot.
She spilled a little in her lap while driving her car, and she was
promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was
preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his three stepbrothers; I Know My
Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame and I’m A Victim.
Dig your way back to the Main Blog or check out My Funky Funeral’s homepage!